Saturday, August 8, 2009

Fit to be Tied

I never expected maternity clothes to be super flattering. (Which is good, because they aren't. At least the ones that I can afford.) I expected them to be functional, comfortable and provide space for my ever-expanding baby bump. (Which, for the most part, they do.)

What I can't figure out is why every maternity clothing manufacturer on the planet has designed tops for mommies-to-be with a stupid tie around the empire waist. Seriously, what is the purpose of this added accessory? It's not like my top is going to suddenly fall off if I don't have the color-coordinated string knotted in a perfect bow at my back.

I hate the ties, because not only are they ugly, they are also totally uncomfortable. Every time I lean back in my chair at work or in the driver's seat of my car, that cutesy bow digs into the center of my back. Not so comfortable for a woman whose back already hurts.

That leads me to believe that a man must have decided that ties would be an excellent addition to any maternity item covering the upper torso. Sorry, boys. I'm not hatin' on you. I just know no lady old enough to have a child would design something that belongs on an outfit for a toddler.
Am I going to get rid of all my tops with ties? No. Then, I wouldn't have anything to wear. I could do a little redesigning of my own with my trusty sewing shears, but since most of the maternity clothes I have aren't mine, that's not a good idea, either.

I guess I'll just remain fit to be tied until the Wonder Twins are born, and I can banish the bows from my clothes and put them in the girls' pigtails where they belong. :)

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