Not One of Blockbuster's Best

Monday marked a return to Rex Hospital in Raleigh for childbirth class #2. On the evening's course schedule? Watching "the movie."

What movie, you ask? You know... It's the one every set of new parents warns you about when you mention you're starting childbirth classes. The warning is usually followed by expressions of horror and writhing movements among the upper extremities.

With that as our preview, you can imagine our excitement when Caro, our instructor, popped the tape into the VCR and hit "play."

It really wasn't that bad until it got to the part that showed the live birth with no epidural. The woman looked that she was on the brink of death, not the precipice of delivering life. The other jarring part was the color of the baby. It was white as a ghost. I remember commenting to Geof: "It looks like a monster!"

I already knew the babies were covered in a white substance in the womb, but I didn't think about them coming out covered in it, too. Let's hope it doesn't take them long to "pink up!"

Geof's aversion was more to the talk of "stretching" the female region. At one point, he had to look away, because it made him a little squeamish.

As long as he doesn't pass out in the delivery room, that's okay with me.

Following the showing of this cinematic masterpiece, Caro discussed pain medication, which seemed like a natural transition. We learned about the types of drugs available, how and when they're given, and the possible side effects.

Apparently, 90 percent of women ask for an epidural. That, of course, made me wonder what the chances are that I could physically endure delivering two babies with zero drugs. Caro said I could do it. I'm just not quite sure I want to.

The other reassuring bit of information I gleened from her was that birthing baby #2 will be much easier than birthing baby #1. She compared it to being a second-time mom. All the "parts" will be appropriately stretched out already, so after two or three good pushes, baby #2 should make her debut. Swwoooo...

Caro rounded out the study sesssion with a tour of the hospital's birthing facilities. I had never really been in a baby ward before, so I tried my best to drink it all in.

The rooms for labor and delivery are pretty spacious. They come equipped with a flat-screen TV and VCR (No, Geof is not allowed to watch SEC football while I'm huffing and puffing through contractions), a recliner chair (Geof's makeshift bed) and curtains in the entranceway to prevent you from sharing your delivery with the rest of Raleigh.

About an hour after the Wonder Twins are born, we'll all be moved to a recovery room. We toured those, as well.

They have most of the same amenities. I liked knowing two things: 1.) I can order three meals a day from room service, and someone will bring them right to me; and 2.) the girls can sleep in the room with us. They don't have to stay in the nursery overnight.

As we waited for the elevator, we saw lots of family members and friends bringing colorful balloons, flowers and gifts to loved ones who had just had babies. How neat to know we'll be there in about 12 short weeks!

In case you were wondering, I like bouquets made of wildflowers... or iced cookies. :)